Selleks ajaks, kui ma ülikooli läksin, ei mõelnud ma talle enam iga päev, vaid ainult siis, kui ma ennast tõeliselt üksi ja halvasti tundsin.
Ülikooli lõpuks elasin ma koos mehega, kes mind Janekit unustama pani. Meie kooselu kestis kuni selle kevadeni ning lõppes suurelt ja inetult. Maarika suhe oli samuti karidel ning sedasi tekkiski meil võimalus lõpuks ometi kahekesi reisima minna. Ja nüüd, peaaegu kümme aastat hiljem seisis Janek uuesti mu ees.
Maarikale jõudis pärale, kes see mees tema ees on. Ta vaatas mulle küsivalt otsa ning ma noogutasin. Tundus, et Janek polnud veel taibanud, kes ma olen.…
Lugesin kunagi ühest ajakirjast seda lugu "Kuhu kadus minu elu armastus?" ja see köitis mind niivõrd, et otsustasin ta siia päevikusse teistele lugeda anda. Igal inimesel on oma lugu, kuidas ta on leidnud või kohanud oma elu armastust. See lugu on kellegi oma, mitte minu, aga kellegi teise oma ja see on tõeline. Loodan, et meeldib, sest mulle meeldib kohutavalt. Head lugemist!;))
Meil oli sõbrannaga juba pikka aega plaan minna suvel koos reisima. Paljudel kordadel tuli midagi vahele, kuid sel suvel sobisid korraga kõik asjad.
Ostsime lihtsalt lennukipiletid ning võtsime seljakotid ja läksime omal käel imelise Iirimaaga…
India ahviküttidel on kaval moodus, kuidas ahve kätte saada. Nad teevad kookospähkli sisse augu ja panevad sinna kommid. Auk on nii suur, et tühi ahvi käsi sinna mahuks, aga nii väike, et kui ahv proovib komme välja võtta see sealt läbi ei mahu. Ahvidel on kaks võimalust, kas lasta kommidest lahti või lasta ennast küttidel kinni püüda. Kommidest lahti nad ei lase ja nad annavad nende pärast oma elu. Komme, aga ei saa nad kunagi maitsta, aga nad mõtlevad, mis maitsega need on. See kehtib ka inimeste kohta. Vahel ei lase nad lahti millegist, mis tuleb väljaspoolt. Et elu hinnata…
Don't you know it's gone too wrong
Early warning
How could it have come to this
We're dying trying
It's a long way down
But no one in this crowd
Can stop me hitting the ground
'Cos now I've got
Nothing to hold the falling
So how can I survive this sinking feeling?
Tell me there is more than this
Rocky morning
'Cos you’ve got the best there is
And I want nothing
It's a long way down
But no one in this crowd
Can stop me hitting the ground
'Cos now I've got
Nothing to hold the falling
So…
I can feel you in my life
I can see you in my mind
I can feel you around
In everything, every sound
I can feel you in my life
I can see you in my mind
I can feel you around
In everything, every sound
Feel you now in my heart
I got all my dreams to live, so …
I got my life to believe, so …
I got all my love to give, so …
There is nothing left to fear, so …
I can leave the past behind, so …
I got many…
I don't know what you're looking for
you haven't found it baby, that's for sure
You rip me up, you spread me all around
in the dust of the deed of time
And this is not a case of lust, you see
it's not a matter of you versus me
It's fine the way you want me on your own
but in the end it's always me alone
And I'm losing my favourite game
you're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby
losing my favourite game
I only know what I've been working for
another you…
Katatonia Criminals
The way the light hits the road
He came back to your house
I didn't take it as a promise
Always thought it was a lie
He went too far the fucker
It's not like I owe him money
This is different
So gather your strength and break free
Or you will surely die
Gather your strength don't follow me
'Cause I will surely die
The way my eyes cannot move
The way I hope to be protected
And for one moment I thought
That I was lost among the lights of houses
My dreams of violence
See them coming true
There's a doctor in the house, so be quiet. It's Dr. Firth, and I get
paid more than you. I shall answer your questions no matter how
worthless they are.
Letter from Wanda:
Do champions use drugs?
Wanda,
listen to me very carefully. I'm not only a doctor, but also a
scientist, and I have a fair amount of darts trophies - which makes me
a champion of sorts, wouldn't you agree? (please don't respond to that,
I don't waste time on follow ups).
Most of my life I've been
chasing the dragon, and I think…